


At Sea

by CookieDoughMe



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Haven - Fandom - Freeform, Loss, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 14:46:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6859303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CookieDoughMe/pseuds/CookieDoughMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Major spoilers for the final episode i.e. Season 5.2 Episode 26, Forever.<br/>Takes place towards the end of the final episode, i.e. prior to the last few minutes. A day of goodbyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Sea

**Author's Note:**

> This is either me coming out the other side of the emotional tsunami that is the experience of watching the end to this series, or me drowning in its waves, I'm not sure.  
> Nathan says goodbye to Duke and Audrey. Takes place just after the Troubles end.

Nathan walked along the coastal path, watching the ocean below him, smelling the sea air and feeling the breeze in his hair and against his skin.  
A few days ago he had held Duke as the life slipped out of him.  
Today the troubles were gone, but so was Audrey and he honestly didn't know whether to grin or weep.  
Tomorrow they would bury Duke at sea.

For once he'd been glad of his Trouble, relieved (cowardly though it was to say it, he thought) that he didn't have to feel what must have been a frantic heartbeat beneath his arm, or Duke's mouth under his hand as his body strained for breath.  
They had been so much to each other over the years; friends, enemies, rivals in Audrey’s affections (or so it had felt anyway), comrades in the fight to protect Haven. There had been a time Duke was afraid Nathan would kill him and a time that Nathan had wanted to. But that time was so long ago, for both of them, and he'd meant every word he’d said to Duke as he lay dying in his arms.

He'd meant what he'd said to Audrey too. He fully intended to live his life to the full, in honour of the both of them, their lives, their deaths and the sacrifices they had made, along with everyone else who had given their lives for this town. But that was for later. He was not quite there yet because he needed to mourn them as well. He needed to grieve for all the deaths and for the loss of the two people he’d been closest to, both gone in one day.

Yesterday evening, at home on his own he had cried, bawled his eyes out, smashed half his place up. He had shouted at the air until his voice was hoarse and let the tears run down his face until he could hardly see out of puffy red eyes. Today he felt a little better. Tomorrow it would be time to say goodbye. 

And so now he took his time walking along the quiet coast path, Haven perfectly peaceful behind him as he felt the odd twig catch his leg, and reached a hand out to feel his fingers trail through the long grass beside him.

He would head back to the station in a while. There was still plenty of work to be done in tidying the place up, getting things back into order and the police force up and running again. He would have to talk to Dwight at some point about the remaining members of the Guard. But all that could be dealt with; it was just details.

For now, he walked. He walked until he reached a little lay-by on the ocean side of the road, the faint remnants of dents at the edge of the cliff where Audrey’s car had nearly fallen into the sea. This is where they had met, where it had all started. He sat down on the grass, legs over the side as he thought about the last five years. Would he change things, if he could? What would he tell himself if he could go back to that moment? He smiled as he realised; he wouldn’t change a thing. Everything had turned out as it was supposed to, and Haven was OK. There wasn’t really any other way things could have gone. He sat there looking at the waves until he got cold and then he walked back to town, his feet aching in his shoes. 

Tomorrow arrived. The day went by in snatches, as funerals tend to do.

He met Dwight, Gloria and Vicky at the morgue and they took Duke’s body to the boat in the harbour where a few of the guys from the Guard were waiting for them. They didn’t talk much. Gloria told him she’d suggested a memorial service for Audrey at the Old Armoury that afternoon. Nathan nodded; it was a good idea. They had no body to bury, and no priest to conduct a service, but they should do something.

Nathan decided to ask Dwight one last time about Duke’s ghost, or whatever it had been that had told him to get over to the armoury in the first place.  
“Have you seen him again since?”  
Dwight shook his head, “No, I’m sorry.”  
“OK. I’m going to stop asking. Just promise me that if you ever do, you’ll tell me.”  
“Of course.”

They took the boat far out to sea, “He would want some space around him,” and cut the engine, drifting for a while as they gathered around the body, wrapped up tight against the elements. Nathan hoped he was at peace now. Maybe his ghost was playing Pooh Sticks with Jennifer.  
Nathan could easily have descended into weeping again, but he remembered talking to Duke when he’d had to tell him Jennifer was dead. You have to mourn those who are gone, but you also have to move on. Duke had let Jennifer go, and now Nathan had to do the same thing. 

He put his hand on Duke’s chest. The boy who had stuck tacks in his back. The man who had given his life to protect them. He had already said goodbye; now it was time to let him go.

His body sank into the water, the cold, dark waves swallowing him so quickly.  
They turned back towards land.

He called in at the station with Dwight. Ate a quick lunch at his desk. The place was a bit chaotic and everyone was still adjusting, but they would get there; there was time. 

He went with Dwight to pick up Gloria and Vicky on the way and then they were at the Old Armoury, the steps leading up to a square on the ground where a building used to be.

“It’s not just Audrey, is it?” said Nathan as they walked up the steps. “It’s Vince too, and Dave. Charlotte. Jennifer. So many people, all gone.”

They stood around the square, the four of them, with police officers and guardsmen and other friends stood around them. They talked about the people they’d lost and what they were grateful for and what they would remember.

“Audrey Parker taught me so much,” said Nathan when everyone looked to him to add something. “I spent so long trying to keep her here, to keep her safe. I would have done anything to keep her with me and out of harm’s way. But she was so much more than that. She chose to give her life for this town and that strength and compassion is what I loved about her and what I will remember, every day.”

Later, he wouldn’t remember everything he said, and he didn’t take in most of what the others said either. But it was nice to say goodbye properly. And even if they didn’t have a body, it was nice to have a place to do it.  
Yesterday he had sat where it all began. Today he stood where it all ended.

Just as they turned to leave he realised he had something to add. “We should make this place a memorial to them. To Audrey and Duke and Vince and Dave and everyone who sacrificed to protect this town. We should have somewhere we can come to remember them.” The others nodded. Gloria had tears in her eyes.

And then he turned around to walk down the steps and saw a huge crowd of people he hadn’t realised were there. For a moment he was taken aback and unsure what to do. They couldn’t all have heard what had been said.

So he took a step forward and raised his voice. “Today we remember Audrey Parker, Duke Crocker, Vince and Dave Teagues and all of the many, many other people who gave their lives to protect Haven, or were affected by the Troubles. I know many of you who lost loved ones have no body to bury and no gravestone to visit. This place will be their memorial. Somewhere we can all come to remember the people we’ve lost and the priceless gift they have given to us in the form of this new Trouble-free Haven. Somewhere we can come to be reminded to live our lives to the full, in honour of their memory.”

And he walked down the steps with tears in his eyes to the applause of the assembled crowd and the sure and certain knowledge that Haven, its population and yes Nathan Wuornos as well, would all be alright.


End file.
